WHO: Jayne Cobb
FROM: Firefly / Serenity
BY: Joss Whedon
ORIGINALLY APPEARED: 2002
PROS: If you need a good man in a fight, Jayne’s the man for you — if you’ve lined his pockets with enough money, that is. Other wise… good luck.
Lets see… he’s devoted to his mum, and cherishes the hat she knit him. He also loves his guns especially “Vera”. He’s a survivor, he can read a bad situation and form a quick escape plan (albiet usually for himself, but also for the good of the other crew members.)
CONS: Obnoxious, selfish, rude, misogynistic, mercenary, oafish, unreliable and just a hairs breath away from mutinous.
BEST SHINING MOMENT: In Jaynetown he is (mistakenly) glorified as the hero of Mudd Town (Canton). Although it is a mistake (He really got caught robbing the rich robber baron of the town and had to jettison the money — and his partner) Jayne takes on some of the heroic responsibilities.
LEAST SHINING MOMENT: Betraying Simon and River in the episode “Ariel”, endangering the rest of the crew at the same time. Low Jayne, really low.
But you’ve got to give Jayne, he’s got a way with words. In fact he gets most of the series’/ movie’s best funny lines. Here are my top five Jayne quotes:
- “You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I get to beat you with until you understand who is in ruttin’ command around here.”
- “Not as deceiving as a low down dirty deceiver.”
- “Ten percent of nothing is — let me do the math here — nothing into nothing, carry the nothing — still nothing”
- “I’ll kill a man in a fair fight, or if i think he’ll start a fair fight”
- “Dear diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever!”
WHY I CHOOSE HIM: I don’t really know. I like every character on the show much more than I like Jayne. I don’t like Jayne at all. But there’s something about the guy that just says “Secondary Character” So, with apologies to Kaylee, Book, Simon, Inara, Zoe, Wash, and especial River… I had to go with Jayne.