Monthly Archives: January 2014

12 Days of Christmas STORIES, “Taco”

We are at the penultimate entry for 12 Days of Christmas STORIES, and today I give you the first part of my New Years story..

Taco

by Rita
 
Flake 6
 

Maribelle Collingsbee had been teaching third grade at Our Lady of the Snows for 31 years.

She knew that the first day back after Christmas vacation would be a swash if she didn’t let the children get out some of their excitement.

She looked down her at her three dozen pupils through her half-moon glasses and called the class to attention.

The children in six rows of six desk in even lines  and rows straightened in their seats. “Well boys and girls, welcome to 2009!”

“Happy New Year!” Said Lucy McCall in a silly voice that was supposed to make her sound like she was drunk.

“And Happy New Year to you Lucy.” Said Mrs. Collingsbee with out skipping a beat.
“Now, children please raise your hand if you practiced your math over break.”

The 36 kids in front of her snuck looks at one another. No one had thought about SCHOOL since they’d fled from OLSS’s historic stain glass front doors into the light snow on December 23rd.

“I see.” She said in mock displeasure. “And who has worked on their grammar?”

No response.

“Spelling?” No one. “My, my.” She said with a tiny hint of a smile. “What on Earth have you been doing with all your time?”

Mrs. Collingsbee turned to the chalkboard (they still had chalkboards in room 2-E at Our Lady of the Snows) and wrote “My favorite thing about Christmas break…” in her exquisitely flowing cursive penmanship.

“Please take out a clean sheet of paper…” she underlined the sentence on the board… “and label it thus.”

The children obeyed. Some of her students used a chunky, rudimentary cursive, but the majority of the class had yet to master those slippery curlicues. They opted for the blocky print style of handwriting.

Maribelle waited until the last pencil had been returned to its indentation on the desk.

There was that moment of tension in the class room when the students didn’t know if their old teacher was going to make them write and ESSAY about their two plus weeks of freedom.

“Now please get out your crayons — “ an audible sigh came from the class “ and draw a picture of your favorite thing about Christmas vacation.”

As she expected her class set into work quickly and quietly. She gave them a leisurely 20 minutes drawling time before making her rounds of the room to check on progress.

The usual suspects were represented. A new dress here, an expensive gaming system there.

Brandon Everly  used almost every crayon in his box of 120 colors to illustrate the picture showing he got a big set of Hot Wheels under his tree. He was intently drawing an orange track around the border of the paper as Mrs. Collingsbee paused over his shoulder. “Vroom” she whispered in appreciation of the sketch. “Vroom, vroom.” The little boy whispered back. He’d surrendered the two cars he brought with him to school before class began. He wanted to play with them at recess, but he knew they’d be too much of a distraction if he’d kept them in his things. He and Mrs. Collingsbee had an understanding. He could trust her to keep his treasure safe.

Shelly Ballentine got a new American Girl Doll. She would have liked to have brought her doll to school too, no doubt, but at the $110 price tag it would be kept very safely at home.

Maribelle Collingsbee was very impressed with Joey Dashnell’s beautifully detailed bike drawling. She wondered at the gift, Joey was much more of an artist than an athlete. Although she was sure the boy appreciated the expensive gift (what child wouldn’t want a bike for Christmas?) she suspected that Joey enjoyed drawing it more than he would riding it.

Kiely Romsley, who had two older sisters, drew a self-portrait as well, she was wearing a beautiful red dress, heals that were too old for her, and bright red lipstick. Clearly Kiely’s penchant for “dressing sophisticated” was indulged on the special day. Mrs. Collingsbee said a quick silent prayer of thanks for the school’s policy on make-up and the plain blue pinafore uniforms the girls wore.

David  Calendar scored  a fine-looking pair of cowboy boots. He did a self-portrait too from the forced perspective of the tip of the boots toes looking up.

Viv-Anne Pendergast — who’s parents, Maribelle was sure, bought out Dixon’s Department Store — chose to picture a single item, a pair of sparkly red shoes.

Romano Valinsuala got an iPod Nano and showed himself, earplugs in place, dancing to his new tunes.

Odeana Washington got a digital camera that she drew along with some of the pictures she took.

Isaac Gannet got a hamster named “Fred.” Mrs. Collingsbee knew Fred was named “Fred” because Isaac drew a sign that said “Fred Lives Here” over rodent’s cage.

Tommy Underhill must have been a very good boy, indeed (at least he must have been better at home than he was in class). Santa brought him a puppy. (No name given).

Not every one drew things.

Charlotte Finney drew an old lady with heavy crayon wrinkles across  her brow and a helmet of iron-gray hair holding a little girl’s hand. The little girl had bright orange braids like Charlotte. The little girl snuck a look up to Mrs. Collingsbee and was rewarded with a quick smile.

Grady O’Day, one of the nicest boys in her class, had been rewarded for his kindness by being given the prize role of the Angel in the church’s Christmas pageant. Maribelle wasn’t surprised to see that he chose that as his favorite thing about Christmas.

Mickey Laughton and her family took a trip to New York City. The little girl drew a rudimentary Statue of Liberty, some sky scrapers and the Broadway billboard for The Lion King!!!!

Petie Niley, who no one every mistook for angelic, drew himself kneeling in front of the life-sized manger. His hands were folded in prayer, his head bowed — the perfect little boy.  Mrs. Collingsbee was tempted to borrow his crayon and write “A Christmas Miracle” under the obvious sarcastic drawing. She was sure he’d had a bountiful Christmas morning. The Nileys were the richest family in town.

Lucy McCall showed a Christmas dinner with all the trimmings on her paper. A huge turkey sat at the upper center of the page. A cartoon Lucy peeked over the bird — knife and fork in hand — a silly, mischievous look on her face.

Petie and Lucy were her class clowns. But while Lucy took the opportunity to be silly and make a bit of fun of herself Petie used the assignment to act up in a sneaky way. It wasn’t like Mrs. Collingsbee could give him detention for drawing a picture of himself praying — even IF they both knew it was a lie. He was throwing the assignment back in her face, and making fun of the children who were taking it seriously. What was worse, he’d draw other kids to his side in the mean spiritedness. What had been a natural magnetism last year had turned into a cult following lately. She did not like the direction Petie Niley was going. Not at all.

More dolls — Barbies, Bratz — UGH! would toy manufacturers ever tire of force feeding her little charges distorted images of what it was life to be a woman? — More hyper macho toys for the boys.

Very few gender neutral, educational toys made it to the “best of” list in her class room.

Mrs. Collingsbee turned the corner to walk up the last row “A few more minutes boys and girls, lets finish up.” …


12 Days of Christmas STORIES, Kringlelander (Conclusion)

12th Night is almost here and our celebration of words and stories is almost at an end.

Here’s the conclusion of Kringlelander.  Click HERE for part one.

Kringlelander

(Part 2)
by Rita

Flake 3

“Three centuries ago…” Elrond started to tell another of his long stories as the globe of snow settled to a new scene — a small, peaceful, snow-cover village appeared. “13 elves set out from Rivendell to learn the ways of the great craftsmen of Olurgius.”

Evidently the journey was long (though perhaps not as long as it took Elrond to tell me about it) and dangerous. “Only the bravest and strongest of elves could hope to make it there and back again…

“Thirteen left that day, all experts in their field. There was Maylifor, son of Mandiglor, master of silver and gold, maker of Solobigolh…” He  began to list each elf’s special skills and the weapons he made, and the warrior elves who used the weapons, and the battles in which those elves saw action …

After “Hardobim, son of Helomagrim…”  (the fifth elf in the series) I put up my hand “13 elves went on a journey to learn new skills, I got it.”

Elrond did that thing where he both raised his eyebrow and squinted at the same time then continued. “But low, the 13 did not make it to Olurgius for the winter was long and difficult  and many hardships befell the weary travelers. Lost was the band and desperate in their plight when a glimmer of hope from an expected place shone upon them.

“A roaming band of Dwarves came upon this noble crew and added them in their time of weakness. They brought 13 to their diminutive lair. No miners they, these dwarves were craftsmen. And so the elves found kindred spirits in their rescuers.

“Winter thawed to spring, and spring bloomed to summer. The grateful elves taught the dwarves all the knew, and the bearded ones taught the 13 many tricks and skills they had learned under the mountains. As fall fell into winter the travelers decided to stay one more season in the village before finishing their journey to Olurgius.

“When they returned to Rivendell they became the greatest masters of sword and shield. Their fine blades sang through the air in the Battle of Billingorarth…” the elf elaborated for several more minutes, whipping himself into a froth of excitement before I held up my hand again.

“So I’m to have some fine bit of elvish armor up at my cold castle, then?’

Annoyed, Elrond gave me THAT look — you know the one — and cut to the chase. “Alas, Santaron, no. Your love of the pipe and pint have made you oblivious to the most obvious once again.”

Hmmm, he had me there.

“Long winter nights make for the strangest of bed fellows.” Elrond spelled out for me — the sneer on his lips was even tighter than usual. “Living among the baser creature of Middle Earth for more than a year the 13 had come to appreciate a, shall we say, certain dwarfish style.” He cleared his throat, hardly able to mouth what came next out loud. “At some point during that long winter the 13 mingled with female dwarves.” He shuttered.

“Years later a delegation of the creatures made their way to this hallowed city. Among them were 26 oddlings. Twinned pairs of young creatures, one boy, one girl, hybrid dwarf and elf from each of the 13. Too tall and refined to be dwarves, too hairy and squat to be elves.”

The vein in Elrond’s temple throbbed. “We tried to educate the half childs, but the dwarf in  them was too strong, and they were stubborn. They didn’t want to learn our refined ways. Eventually, for their own happiness we found a colony for them in the Westerland. There they have lived amongst themselves multiplying once a generation and living long, peaceful, unexceptional lives. They never managed to produce much more than a butter knife between them, but they are content — indeed happy — to make toys instead of weapons. They celebrate silly joys of childhood.”

Galadrial’s ball now showed a gathering of mid-sized creatures in bright colored clothing frolicking around a decorated evergreen tree. “They… are… the… DWELVES” She said in her spooky, superior voice. “Dwarves… with… elf… like… visages.”

Magical creatures, at least half magic, they too would need to be relocated.

She handed me the globe of snow. “Are…   you … ready… Kringlelander?” I looked in the globe and saw that a little man with a long white beard and with fur trimmed red robes stood in the door of one of the buildings.

Elrond and Galadriel did a kind of fist bump and their elfin rings clicked together.

My guest room at Rivendell disappeared and suddenly I was at the Pole.

A little deer with a red nose landed next to me. He nuzzled his snout into my pocket looking for a deer treat,  and I knew I was home.

 

12 Days of Christmas STORIES; Kringlelander (part 1)

My husband, Bill, gets credit for the concept of this story. We hatched out the bare bones on a family trip (which you’ll read about in a few days).

Kringlelander

by Rita
Flake 10

Top five questions I get asked on a regular basis…
5. What’s it like to live in the North Pole? == COLD, and a little lonely. But nice.
4. Is your beard real? == YES. Please do not pull it to see if I’m lying. I’m not, and pulling on it is both rude of you and painful for me.
3. Can reindeer really fly? == Only the reindeer who live with me can fly.
2. Do you and the Elves really make all the presents? == YEP. It takes us all year. But we work very hard and try to give something to every good girl and boy.
1. Have you always been Santa Claus? == Hmmm. Now that’s an interesting question.

I used to answer that with a jolly “Ho, ho, ho… what do you think?” But that is no answer at all. The fact is, I have been Santa Claus as long as there has been a Santa Claus… but there hasn’t always been a Santa Claus…  so, no, I haven’t always been he.

Its a somewhat confusing concept for toddlers, and they are usually satisfied with wink, but for hundreds of years, I admit, I’ve been dodging the question.

It isn’t that I was sworn to secrecy exactly, but there WAS an assumption that one was not to tell of these things. …A sort of “what happens in Middle Earth STAYS in Middle Earth” kind of thing. But then SOME ONE must have spilled the beans to that Tolkien fellow and, although MY story didn’t get printed I feel like I’m at liberty to tell it now.

Hmmm… where to begin, where to begin? Have you read your Tolkien? Do you know about your Hobbitses and Orcs and Elves and Dwarves? You have? Good. Then you know about the War of the Ring and the Ring Bearer and the Fellowship? — Yeah, I wasn’t a part of all that. I was in the Nesterland of the North.

WAIT! Don’t go pulling out your Tolkien map to try and find Nesterland. Tolkien didn’t include that neck of the woods.  It wasn’t germane to his story. Alas, neither was I. Which is why you’ve probably never heard of Kringlelander the Red, or Nickdalf, or Santaron, or any of the other half-dozen names I went by back then.

So while Gandalf and Frodo and the rest were saving Middle Earth I was obliviously exploring the northern most boundaries and building friendships with the wild and wonderful folk that live up that way.

By the time I heard about the trouble in the south it was all over.

I made my way south as quickly as I could, but I was traveling by foot (some of us didn’t  have access to flying eagles) and it took me several years before I made it to Rivendell.

Before I hit the first waterfall an emissary from Elrond bid me to attend a meeting with the Lord of the City and the Lady Galadriel the next morning in the high council chambers.

Now I’m not much for mixing it up with the high and mighty mucky-mucks. — I’m more of sneak in, grab a plate of lembas bread cookies, get the lay of the land, sneak out, kind of guy. — So the thought of a royal audience made me more than a little nervous.

Word to the wise: if you ever find yourself in a strange elven city with a very important meeting the next day… do NOT drink a goblet of unfamiliar local brew, no matter how much the person pouring it for you insist it will help you calm down.

The next morn when the appointed time arrived I was still snoring deeply into my silky elvish sheets. But, I suppose, Elrond and Galadriel were on a schedule of some sort because I was awaken by a mighty knock (could have been on the door, could have been directly to my skull — I was too groggy and hung over to tell) and suddenly the two stately elves were in my room staring down at me.

“Kringlelander the Red” boomed Elrond, “6th Wizard of Valor, Santaron, Wanderer of Nesterland, Defender of the Meek and Powerless, Nickdalf, Dancer of the Winter Night, Harbinger of Deep Snow…” he shifted his stance, the better to look down at me in my cot, “welcome to Rivendell.”

I wiped at my sleepy, blurry eyes and sat up. “Aye. Er, Um, Thank you for the kind greeting.” I tried to remember the requisite protocol. I probably should have bowed, but with the hangover banging around in my noggin I though that unwise.

“You… are… late.” Galadriel told me in an annoyingly mystical voice.

Yeah, even with all the lovely diffused, misty sun in Rivendell I could tell that I was late for our little tête-à-tête. “Um yeah, I’m sorry I missed our meeting.”

“That… is… not… what… I… meant.”

“The hour is late Nickdalf,” Elrond continued her thread. “There is not much time left for magic in the realm. You come upon us at the parting hour.” Never one to utter a simple sentence, the Elf Lord then gave a long and flowery description about how the Elves were preparing to make their way to the Gray Havens and from there to Undying Lands.

As I picked the thread of reality from Elrond’s web of elegant, if gummy, prose I realized that I was late indeed. According to him there was but one ship left and that the Elves in the city were the rear guard, the last to go into the sunset.

“Good thing I got here when I did, I suppose.” I said with relief.

A look passed between the stately Elves. They explained in long, patient detail how some halflings would be traveling with them as reward for their service in destroying the Ring of Power. “The… halfling… has… more… than… earned… his… passage…” intoned Galadriel.

She smiled her glassy smile at me and my stomach pitched.

I understood that this Frodo Baggins had done Middle Earth a great boon. I understood  too about the ship and its limited number of sleeping births. What I couldn’t quite wrap my head around was why MY passage had become HIS passage. Or why if they were such little folk we couldn’t squeeze them in somewhere with out knocking me off the passenger manifest.

Elrond looked like he’d just swallowed a bowl of sour Dragon Egg drop soup and shook his head. “We can  not ask the Ring Bearer to share a bunk.”

Galadriel looked equally unamused at my suggestion.

Those two!  They always got their way in the end. I straightened in my bunk and flicked off a piece of detritus from the white fur that lined my right cuff. “Of course we can’t.”

The elves nodded to one another with superiority. They had accomplished their objective. I’d hoped that would be the end of our interview, but they had other items on their wish list.

“The time of man has come.” Elrond said — I feared another long-winded sermon. “The time of magic draws to a close.”

I sighed. I thought we just went over that. But then it dawned on me. I wasn’t going on the nice pretty boat, but I couldn’t stay here either.

Galadriel did one of her dime store magic tricks. She pulled a simple glass globe from her robe and held it in her left hand. She passed her right hand over it and the globe was suddenly filled with whirling snow. As the snow storm subdued a lovely low castle appeared in the center. Despite myself I felt a pull to the ball, and to the place captured inside it.

“Where is this place?”

“Far… to… the… North.” She said eerily.

“Beyond the Misty Vale, far, far, past the Winter’s snow…” After five minutes of hyperbole Elrond finally took a breath.

“North.” I said, too fascinated by the scene in the globe to be properly annoyed, “got it.”
I watched as a small flock of deer came out the gate and galloped around the compound. “Err… What’s that?”

“Those… are… the… Paracaributias.” The she elf said with her know-it-all smirk.

Elrond explained that before Sauron created the horrible and horrifying winged Nazgul he made these creatures. They were Nazgul beta as it were.

The tiny deer in the globe bounded off the snowy surface and began a slow arch over the compound. “As you can see, the Paracaributias can fly but they have the sinister appearance and violent temperament Sauron  valued, so he developed a second uglier, nastier, deadlier version to do his bidding.” As he spoke a ninth member of the Paracaributias pack came out the gate and joined his mates in flight. He looked like the others, except that his nose seemed to glow bright red. Nine Paracaributii, nine Nazgul. “Fortunately we were able to rescue these creatures before Sauron could destroy them.”

As enchanting as the flying deer were I pulled my gaze from the ball. “So I’m to spend the rest of eternity alone cleaning up flying deer poo at some froze waste land, is that it?” I asked.

The elves raised their collective eyebrows at my impertinence. Clearly that was not “it”. Galadriel gave a shake of her elegant hand and the ball filled with snow again….


12 Days of Christmas STORIES; “Q” by Kate Shrewsday

Here’s another fab Christmas goodie from Kate Shrewsday (THANKS KATE!) Don’t forget to stop by Kate’s blog to check out more of her writing genius HERE. (You’ll be glad you did.)

Q

by Kate Shrewsday

Flake 3

It was irritating, not being able to leave the armchair with the alacrity she used to.

Tiny things like turning off the Christmas tree lights had become mountains to climb. Making a cup of tea required considerable forethought. And one could never get a cat to stroke when one really needed one.

Edgar the ginger tom sat on the windowsill, stubbornly refusing to play the lapcat. What I need, Cynthia thought acerbically, is a lasso. I could take lessons. I could collar the cat that way; but it would only be the start of a new way of life. I could lasso teapots and sandwiches, walking sticks and posh frocks.

The world would be mine.

She smiled wryly to herself. She liked her own company. At least she would always laugh at her own jokes.

She was interrupted from her reverie by a knock at the door of the little London ground floor flat. Cynthia had lived there for more than two decades, ever since her husband had died. The great London town house had echoed so after he left. It was better for everyone that she take her most beautiful things and move with them into a place which required the minimum of steps but was still a stones throw from Berkeley Square and the sound of the nightingale.

Ah, Cynthia thought: that would be her son.

“Hullo, Q,” she greeted him as he kissed the air close to her with absent-minded affection.

“Hullo, old thing. How are you?”

She grinned, happily. “Oh, you know. So-so. I watched the Sound of Music for the umpty-seventh time.”

He smiled. “You always did have a weakness for lederhosen. I’ve brought a few things.”

Cynthia’s heart gave a leap. She loved the things her son brought with him.

Q opened the black briefcase he had carried in. Somehow it seemed much larger inside than Cynthia could have thought possible. And the lights inside vied with those on the Christmas tree flickering on and off. As Q spoke, some of them responded to his voice. The Microchip elves, the old woman grinned to herself.

“Now: pay attention, please, “ he began, genially, picking up a remote control. This, amongst all the things in the suitcase, was simple. It had large buttons with words emblazoned in large clear print upon them.

“Take this, “ he said.

“Now: I want you to find the button marked Christmas lights. Got it? Good. Give it a jab with the old digit please. “

Cynthia did as she was told. The Christmas Lights faded to nothing. Oh, super. She pressed again and they sprang into life. “Press it twice,” M said, “and I’ve programmed a small additional device.”

She did so. And there was her own personal light display, a cascade of delicate little fireworks charming her as they had always done.

“Moving on,” directed Q in businesslike fashion, bringing out a large tube which she had not seen arrive: “this should be of some assistance in the tea situation.” He fiddled with the tube. “I’m just calibrating the concentration – shouldn’t take a second.”

The tube was as tall as her armchair, and thin. M fixed it steady so it was at arm’s length. At hand height was a small hatch.

“Now:” said Q, “press Earl Grey Tea. That’s what you have at three, isn’t it?”

Cynthia nodded and pressed. There was a whirr, and two clicks, and then the small hatch slid open. Inside was a bone china cup and saucer with steaming tea which smelled divine.

She took it out and sipped it.

Heaven.

But Q had moved on. He was taking out a small executive pen from the case and what seemed to be the softest, red velvet cat collar. On it was a small silver medal inscribed: “Edgar”.

He handed Cynthia the pen, and took the collar over to the windowsill. “Edgar’s favourite chow is still turkey, I presume?”

Cynthia nodded delightedly. What had her son got up her sleeve now?

“Press the button marked “Edgar”, her son directed. Edgar’s eye lit, as if he had perceived prey. His gimlet-sharp eyes were scanning the room for imagined quarry. He got up, jumped down from the windowsill, and walked over to Cynthia, jumping up onto her lap and purring like a Ferrari engine.

Q gazed at Edgar sternly. “Now, try to keep it intact this time,” he admonished the ginger tom.

Cynthia was astonished. “But how….?” She began.

Q seemed preoccupied with the contents of the suitcase. “The collar uses a little microchip to lay a trail of turkey scent directly in front of the collar. Edgar simply follows his nose to the pen.”

He had other things. For each, as always, her son seemed to have read her mind; each gadget gave her choices which age and infirmity had attempted to wrest from her.

Q fixed a tea, picked it up and sat down with his mother.

“How is MI6 treating you?” Cynthia asked. “ I trust they are appreciating you suitably.”

“Not nearly enough: plus ça change,” Q smiled wryly.

She patted his hand. “Well: I think you are a genius,” she said. And she lifted the impeccable bone china to her lips for another delicious sip of tea.

Royal Grafton fine bone china teacup & sauce i...

Royal Grafton fine bone china teacup & sauce in raspebrry pink from England (Photo credit: highteaforalice)


12 Days of Christmas STORIES, “CHRISTMAS CRACKERS” by Colonialist

12 Days of Christmas STORIES, “Christmas Crackers” by Colonialist’s Blog
Thanks to C.B. for heeding my shameless call for entries. To see more of his (?) post goe to http://colonialist.wordpress.com. 🙂

colonialist's avatarColonialist's Blog

     Santa 1

Darren Saunders paused his ride along the park cycle track to take in the sudden vision.  The father and little girl emerging from the playground were attractive, but it was the mother who really caught his eye.  She was breathtaking.  Slim figure, lovely eager smile, and long dark hair framing perfect features. 

‘Wow!’ he breathed, and found that he was feeling a considerable pang of envy for the man at her side.   He hadn’t missed any sort of permanent attachment while he had had Barry as his best mate living in the other part of the duplex.  The two of them had hit it off as soon as Darren had bought his half and moved in.  They had gone on bike rides and climbs, played rugby for the same team, and partied often and hard with or without an ever-changing bevy of girls.  His only regret had…

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ritaLOVEStoWRITE — 2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 38,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 14 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.