Random thought — HOW to be a REAL WOMAN

Little things prompt me to action sometimes. Today, for example, an article entitled “How To Be A Woman” came across my feed and it sparked in me a need to respond. I found it limited, insulting and misogynistic.

Clearly a bee got in my bonnet and I felt the need to write my own list of What Makes a Real Woman. Here goes…


What Makes a Real Woman

  1. Be true to yourself
  2. Love
  3. Think
  4. Give
  5. Respect
  6. Conserve
  7. Rejoice
  8. Share
  9. Create
  10. Educate

Luckily you don’t have to be a Woman to follow these guidelines. They also hold true for What Makes a Real Human Being.


In  “How To Be A Woman” author Clarrisa Taylor advises to, among other things…

  • play dodgeball,
  • enter a male-dominated work field (and not leave to have a child),
  • learn to fall asleep without a man,

OK. Not my definition of Womanhood, but, if that’s how she chooses to define her life…

I had more of a problem with her advice to  “Show everyone how big your heart is” by falling in love with a broken man and not trying to fix him. Advice that, to me seemed more appropriate to a romance novel or a list entitled “How to Tell if You are a Woman in an Abusive Relationship”, maybe.)

But, the one that really got me was #4 …

 4. If you get raped, share your story. Make sure your voice is heard. But don’t prosecute him. You’re above that. This is how you win.

YES. Share your story. YES. make sure your voice is heard. Absolutely. But “don’t prosecute him”?  “You’re above that.” ? WHAT? If  you have been the victim of rape or sexual assault I hope you will prosecute the perpetrator, because the likelihood is that they’ll do it some one else. Seeking help (at qualified centers like  MCASA in Maryland or NSVRC nation wide ) “is how you win.”


About ritalovestowrite

Freelance writer, graphic designer, musician, foodie and Jane Austen enthusiast in Northern Baltimore County, Maryland. As a writer I enjoy both fiction and non fiction (food, travel and local interest stories.) As an advocate for the ARTS, one of my biggest passions is helping young people find a voice in all the performing arts. To that end it has been my honor to give one-on-one lessons to elementary, middle and high school students in graphic design and music. And as JANE-O I currently serve as the regional coordinator for JASNA Maryland and am working on a Regency/Federal cooking project. View all posts by ritalovestowrite

3 responses to “Random thought — HOW to be a REAL WOMAN

  • therfactorartdesign

    Hi Rita. Your list is Beautiful. Your thoughts on being a woman uplifts the essence of the female spirit on Earth and in doing so, automatically uplifts the male spirit into what might be termed “Right Function” for both.

    It was especially nice to see that the realization of being True to oneself on your list is first…there have been things taken into the hearts of many that do not belong there and therefore to listen for the Reality of Truth is always essencial and as you beautifully put, the first step to right action.

    Thank you for your post. And btw, never mind the bee in your hat, he smells the pollen of the flower.

  • riskingcuriosity

    Hey Rita!

    I read the article that you’re responding to, and it also irked me. #4 was definitely the one that bothered me the most, but I also was put-off by the whole tone of the article. For something that’s supposed to be uplifting, it sounds like a (dictatorial) manual on how to live your life, which is, well, the opposite of uplifting.

    I really liked your list, however! Especially, #1. It also prompted me to write my own list, which I think is more appropriate for “Advice for People, but especially Women”. So, please humor me:

    1. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you how to be. Be you.
    2. Treat everyone with respect, especially yourself.
    3. Always know how to defend yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally.
    4. Treat men as equals; not gods, babies, or monarchs.
    5. Give only what you can.
    6. Stand up for what you believe in.
    7. Always remember that you are valuable.

    K, end of preaching! Hope you have a great day and thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

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